I made the mistake of reading a fan forum today.
At this point I don’t even know why I go there.
Curiosity, I guess.
You know – the kind that killed the cat.
I could tell you that I don’t care what people say about my husband (or even his team) but that would be a lie. And it would defeat the purpose of A Day in the Life of a Hockey Wife. This blog has never been about making this lifestyle seem glamorous, or garnering attention for doing nothing other than marrying a man who happens to play hockey for a living, or going on and on about things that just don’t matter. It’s about being raw and honest about this lifestyle and all that it entails; the good and the bad.
So the truth is, what people say does affect me. Sometimes, I’m ashamed to admit, it can even consume me.
While this wild journey of ours has its perks, I sacrifice a lot to support my husband and I can’t help but take certain things personally. We have felt beaten down more than once by the organizations themselves and that’s enough. We don’t need it from anyone else. I don’t need it from anyone else. Especially from people who don’t know what they’re talking about.
People who don’t know us. People who seem to forget that we’re human like anyone else.
I think at the end of the day, we’re all built that way; no one wants to be dragged through the mud. No one wants to hear the negative opinions that total strangers have of you. And if you ask me, it’s even worse when people are saying hurtful things about someone you love.
Which is maybe why I keep going back. Because the truth is – my husband doesn’t ever look at these forums. He either doesn’t care, or he’s smarter than me and knows just not to look. But if they were talking about me, I can almost guarantee he would be there. Feeling protective and fierce and… just as frustrated as I am whenever I read some of the things that are being said about him.
It’s different. Because they’re not talking about me. They’re talking about him. About the man I love. And sometimes… I just want to set them all straight.
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when your child tells you that someone was mean to them at school? The one where you just want to hug your baby and then swiftly drop kick the kid who hurt their feelings? It sounds kind of silly but that’s the feeling I get when I read negative (and often misinformed) posts about my husband … or anyone, for that matter.
Generally speaking, I think there are a handful of knowledgeable hockey fans running the show on these forums. Honestly, if a person uses words or phrases like ‘powerplay ’, ‘penalty kill’, or ‘system’ they stand out amongst the masses. The people who make misinformed or uneducated comments (unfortunately, the majority of fan forum participants) are generally the same people who bitch and moan incessantly and can find something wrong with any situation. You know, the glass is half-empty type.
The kind who will never be happy with how any player/team/coach performs. Not really anyway.
They are fans, simply because they want something to tear apart.
Last night my father-in-law sent me an e-mail with links (mostly articles that were written about my husband and his recent signing in Germany). The last link was to the team’s official fan forum. Ruh-roh. I figured there wouldn’t be much to read (or anything that would send me reeling) so I put the link into Google translate. Certain things were lost in translation but I got the gist of it.
The season hasn’t even started yet and these people were already assuming the worst of every player and even the coach.
Which is really so typical. I don’t know why I’m so surprised.
It wasn’t the thread dedicated entirely to my husband signing that sent me reeling though– his thread wasn’t that bad. It was more the general attitude of the ‘fans’ across the board. They don’t like this. They don’t like that. This isn’t right. And that sucks.
How can you be upset about something when you don’t even know what that something is yet? What’s the harm in giving things a chance? New coach. New talent. Why not be hopeful that these are good things?
I could take to the forums myself and set everyone straight (my father-in-law actually does a pretty good job of that himself) but what difference would it make? I’d just end up the hockey wife making headlines for being a raging lunatic. No thanks.
I like to keep my crazy confined to my own household whenever possible.
How these people feel though. The things they were saying. The way that they think. It’s all beyond me. I can’t do a damn thing about any of it, but still – it leaves me flustered and feeling protective and angry. People are always going to have something to say; sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s awful. That will never change and whether I like it or not (whether I signed up for it or not) it comes with the territory. But knowing that doesn’t make reading these things any easier.
The only thing I can do is stop reading the forums. Smarten up like that husband of mine.
Any takers on how long I’ll last?