August 2, 2011

Fail. Fail. And Fail.

Just seven days until we’re off to Germany! It’s hard to believe we’re in the single digits now. For the past month or so, it seemed I had all the time in the world to get my act together. I had almost convinced myself that I wasn’t going to get worked up over this move.

I thought I might just make it to next Tuesday without panicking, without being a raging bitch, without my husband threatening to leave me behind.

Fail. Fail. And Fail.

I called my husband today, to ask if he planned to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. He said, “Nah, I’ll do it another day." Just like that, so lackadaisical. And that’s when it set in.

The panic.

Because not picking up his suit is really just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the things he says he will do another day.

Oh, you’ll just do it another day … Okay … Sure, because there are so many of them left. The words were on the tip of my tongue … Why do you have to put everything off to the last f-ing minute? You have a list of 3945734 f-ing things to do and our days are f-ing numbered! You’ll probably f-ing forget about it altogether. And that’ll be an f-ing fiasco. F-ing forget it! I’ll just f-ing pick it up!

No. Resist the temptation to be a raging bitch simply because he doesn't do things the way you do them. Trust that he will get things done. "Okay, that sounds good," I said. 

I hung up the phone and went back to work where I promptly made a list of things I had asked him to do; things I had asked him to do that I should probably just do myself so that I don’t end up wanting to drop f-bombs left and right the next time he tells me he’ll take care of something another day.

Deep breaths. All I can do is take deep breaths. And maybe remind myself that none of this should surprise me.

This past weekend, we celebrated our anniversary by having dinner with 12 of our friends, including the couple who introduced us. Someone asked my husband if he had finished packing yet.

His response?

"I don’t pack."

Part of me wonders if I am doing him a disservice by holding his hand or making life this easy for him. I mean, he’s had people around him, making his life easy, since he was 15. I take care of just about everything – all he has to do is show up. Is it the end of the world if he doesn’t pick up his suit before we leave? No. In fact, I would die to see him in a European suit (more specifically, his monstrous thighs in skinny, tailored pants). But if he drops the rare, important ball I toss him … it can be a mess, not just for him but for our family.

I have a feeling that the bulk of the errands (and the packing) will be left to me, as usual. I will do my best not to become the neurotic mess I usually am but I can’t promise anything. 

What I can promise you, is that I will crush it.


  1. Deep Breaths. After 10 years of marriage and realizing I am the one who bitches about everything. I now make it he has to pack himself. If he doesn't have it not my problem. I have myself and two children to get ready. I also leave his laundry to put away since he likes it a certin way. If I ask you more than once to put it away so your not clogging up my room with baskets. you will find htem outside with a free sign on them. Yes I did this to him.
    I realized I had a mommas boy on my hands. I even make him now do saturday morning chores.
    Put your foot down and make him become responsible. Its a 50 50 street. He does work and I stay home so I do a bulk of the household stuff. There is just a time to help and show your a team player.

    I would so not blame you for becoming a bitch on him. Good luck with your Move!

  2. Hahaha- skinny European suits! The guy I knew in hockey could barely get jeans to fit his thighs let alone a suit. DO IT! I kid, I kid...I know how you must feel. Just remember eberything now is magnified due to the closeness. Do as much as you can, ask him for help if need be but try not to stress out too much. Schedule in a nice long hot bath one night with chocolate and a book then everything may shrink back to size. Good luck with the packing and travel over!

  3. SO TRUE. My husband thinks you pull into town on the 28th of August....find a home in a day or two....then he leaves for camp. When he returns, a magic fairy has come along and unpacked everything, put it away, and made a rental a home. The fairy also does the laundry, grocery shops, and cleans the house all season. When the year is over the magical fairy packs up the house. I assume he thinks I am eating bon-bons while watching reality TV the whole time! My mom always says I cannot complain..I have trained him to assume I will always get it done. great post.....get in touch before you go across the pond!


  4. Ahh it sounds like you have a ton to do, but I also know like you said that you will definitely be able to get it all done :) Hopefully it will all be over soon and you;ll get to relax once you're in Germany. Good luck girl!

    XO Emily @

  5. Never thought the time would come where I use the phrase "when I was young" but just now I caught myself doing so!!!! Anyway during THAT stage of my life I was in a long term relation with a famous German soccer player. The time came when I told him he might be THE star on the soccer field, yet our home is not the soccer field. I adjusted to many things yet the star attitude and ""I get served everywhere" doesnt sit well with me. There is a difference between necessary adjustments to accommodate training, injuries, absence from home etc etc - yet this is not a permission to become so self centerd. But it takes two to tango! He doesnt pick up his suit? Well, the suit would rot at the dry cleaners because I would not pick it up! One learns by responsibilities and consequences only.
    The topic of star attitude carries me away each and every time. LOL
    You might panic, yet never forget you have done it before. You moved and you are still around! You moved and it worked out. I hope his attitude doesnt implement the feeling that you have to be perfect. Take that out of the suitcase! Keep you in my thoughts.

  6. Sarah, You're so right! I have known that I should put my foot down, for years, but it's easier said than done. The suit is just the tip of the iceberg. There are things like forgetting to renew his passport or fax a copy to the team so they can book our flights. Things that affect ME too, you know? I get caught between what's right and what's ... safe.

    Missy, Wouldn't that be funny? I had a little chat with him last night, told him that he needs to turn his computer off and help me out during the last few days we have in town. "Help me, help you."

    A, I'm so glad I'm not alone. My family and friends tell me the same thing your mom tells you. But for the record, it didn't start with me! It started with Juniors! Will e-mail you today if I have time, I have been meaning to catch up! So sorry.

    Emily, I know it will all get done. It has to get done. It's just that ideally, for me, it gets done in advance so I have the last few days to relax and enjoy being at home with my family and friends.

    Paula, I should note that he was half-joking when he said, "I don't pack." I mean, he doesn't really pack at all but he was laughing and nudging me as he said it. He's got a teeny, tiny ego but I rarely see it. He's just flippin' lazy. LAZY. And yes, he knows that if he doesn't do it, I will. P.S. Interested to know who you dated in Germany. I have two good friends from college who play there - well, one now plays in Turkey.

  7. When you turn 41 the convo will go like this...

    His response?

    HP: "I don’t pack."

    HW: Well you do now.

    I am like you. The one that can always be counted on. And it makes me feel good because I am reliable and organized. The other part of me says "I AM SICK OF BEING THE RESPONSIBLE ONE!"

    I would end up doing it too but NEXT time...oooh I believe I would use my first answer.

  8. Wow. You definitely have more patients than I would ;) I know you will crush it, I know everything will be packed perfectly. And for that, you deserve a girls trip in Europe, right?! Sounds like a fair trade off to me.
    Maybe, if you wanted to try it together, he gets out the clothes and helps organize while you fold and put them in suitcases/boxes. Might be a start!

  9. I love your spirit! Good luck on all the packing and craziness of moving! You will definitely crush it--with or without his help.


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