I don't know why but it seems every doctor's office in this town runs between 30 minutes and an hour behind schedule.
My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't actually see the doctor until about 10:40. It was twenty minutes after that, that we actually got down to business.
I was having Mirena removed, a procedure that takes all of 45 seconds, but the nurse wanted to talk hockey and was compelled to lecture me for an additional 20 minutes (ah, so now we know why this office is behind schedule) on how my husband should be focusing on hockey right now ... not having sex or making a baby.
Hockey, hockey, hockey. Anything else is a distraction.
Thanks, Tips. I was already slightly annoyed by your blatant disregard for my time but now I just want to punch you.
The last thing I felt like doing after her spiel was getting naked and putting my legs into stirrups. I was already a little nervous about this potential baby-making stuff that might take place soon. Can't a girl have a doctor check out her hoohah in relative peace? I mean, is nothing sacred anymore? Thankfully the doctor performed the procedure and she was able to get through the 45 second shebang without a word.
Focus on hockey THIS, Lady!
I'm certain she didn't mean any harm. She was very sweet, otherwise. But she's not the first person to cross the line; this week alone, three other people made inappropriate and just plain stupid hockey-related remarks. Two approached me while I was grocery shopping, the other found me on Facebook and sent me a message ... no seriously, I wouldn't lie to you.
Well meaning or not, I am simply astounded by the audacity of small town folk. I grew up in one. I get that these places are like fishbowls. Everyone sees, hears, and knows (or thinks they know) everything. The problem is that they end up feeling like it's their right, or more so their place, to add their two cents.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Lord knows I have mine. And you can totally have yours. Have a million of them if you are so inclined. But know when it's appropriate to voice them and when it's more appropriate to maybe keep them to yourself, ya know?
And also know that I reserve the right to drop kick anyone stupid or ballsy enough to launch into a your-husband-really-should-have-done-this-and-that-and-why-isn't-he-doing-this-that-or-the-other-and-what's-wrong-with-this-team-and-don't-have-sex-because-it's-a-distraction tirade.
It's not just me. One of the other wives called a local bakery to order a cake for her husband's birthday. Instead of providing a list of available flavors, the woman said, "Do you really think this is a time to celebrate? Do you really think there is anything to celebrate?"
Seriously? Who died?
I've actually gotten used to the business and politics of hockey, being a pseudo single parent, the stress of the off season, the stress of the regular season, and the lack of control I seem to have over anything anymore. Hell, I've even come to terms with the beyond annoying existence of fan forums. I more or less signed up for those things.
But there are some things I simply didn't sign up for. Unsolicited and nonsensical hockey (or how hockey should or should not affect my personal life) advice and commentary are two of them.
Hooray for your opinions. Just keep them to yourself.
Except you guys, I like you guys.