Lacking any semblance of grace, I stumbled through the first few minutes of my first German prenatal appointment.
The nurse didn't speak any English, aside from being able to tell me that I needed to "pee in that cup and put it on that shelf" and that she would "take blood later". And she wasn't impressed that I didn't speak German. That's okay. I'm not impressed that I don't speak German either.
I need to get on that.
She recorded my weight. I looked away. She asked for my height. We both gave up when we realized we would have to convert inches to centimeters. She asked for my Mutterpass. I obviously didn't have one as I have never given birth in Germany, but I handed her copies of my medical records from home.
She took a lot of deep breaths. The "I'm really annoyed by you" kind.
We had a breakthrough when she drew six viles of blood. I curled into the fetal position, closed my eyes, and gave her my arm. She stroked my face and said, "Sweet baby."
I'll
admit that my standards were fairly low when it came to finding a new doctor. I was simply hoping for
someone who a) spoke a little English b) wasn't going to talk about my vagina with anyone other than me and c) wouldn't so much as utter the word 'hockey' while my legs are in stirrups.
It's not too much to ask. You would think that just about any doctor would suffice. But in this town, as I learned the hard way, you would be wrong.
This doctor's English was quite limited. I wouldn't call her an English-speaking doctor by any means. In hindsight, I probably should have given the language barrier issue a little more consideration, a little earlier on.
She told me I was 27 weeks based on my LMP. I'm 25 weeks and ultrasounds have confirmed it. It's complicated and has everything to do with Mirena and lots of other boring girly things. Things that are impossible to discuss when you're speaking two different languages.
I asked how far in advance my c-section would be scheduled. Her response was, "Oh, you're having another c-section?" Um. Have you seen my husband? No, she hasn't. She doesn't know who he is, and that's a good thing. But seriously? I tried to explain the hellish ordeal that was Linden's birth and why the odds are against me again this time around. I think most of it was lost on her, so I moved on.
I asked if there would be someone available to perform a circumcision after the baby is born. She had no idea what I was talking about. Of course this ended up being the conversation in which I had to resort to hand gestures. You can only imagine.
I didn't bother asking if English-speaking Hebammes are available. Based on this experience, I'm going to go ahead and say the chances are slim on that one.
I'm going to have to bring a German friend to my next appointment, because in reality,
I need answers to those questions and I need more than a thumbs up to
feel comfortable. No, it wasn't the most successful Q&A session, but when it comes to this new doctor, I feel like it's a much better fit.
Because I was the focus of this appointment.
My baby was the focus of this appointment.
Not my husband or his hockey.
And hey, I don't have to worry about my vagina making the fan forums.
Bonus!
11 comments:
Oh wow...you are brave. I can't imagine not being able to communicate with my doctor in the same language. It'll frustrate me.
Good job in not getting frustrated. You deserve some kudos!
Awww...Hahaha, I am currently pregnant (with my first), and having quite the experience over in Mexico as well! I do speak Spanish fairly well, but it's still amusing as some medical terms go right over my head!! LOL! Oh and boy are things different here than in Canada. LOL.
Congrats on another baby!!! Glad you found a Dr you seem pleased with :)
www.on-mexican-time.blogspot.com
I love it! I am going to be in the same boat tomorrow with my first prenatal appointment in Italy (in a German speaking town) and reading your post makes me realize I am not alone. I considered googling some important German words to use tomorrow, but instead decided to just go in there speaking English rather than looking like an American trying to speak German (which I'm sure we both know is never pretty).
As for the circumcision, I have to ask if they are willing to do it. A fellow wife had her baby here last year and the hospital refused to circumcise. We aren't finding out what we are having, but I think I'm more worried about the fact that my potential boy might not be circumcised than I am worried about the actually labor.
Maybe try a iPad with language translator app to type your questions for the doctor and she can type her answers for English translation? Would this be possible to help during your office visits?
It is not the language, its the culture! We germans have a different view on some things. Birth can be done without c-section. It can be done, but only when it is really necessary. Circumcission is a bad american manner, we like our boys as they are. So besides the language problem, you should be aware of this.
Michael, I have lived in Germany for three years and am well aware of the cultural differences. My struggle or frustration that day had nothing to do with those differences and I would never tell someone that any of their customs or traditions or beliefs were a bad manner, because well, it's somewhat ignorant and rude, especially when you don't have your facts straight.
Circumcision has been practiced for thousands and thousands of years in various parts of the world and within various religions - it's not an "American" thing. There are many arguments in favor and against it but at the end of the day, it's a personal choice and one I don't have to defend to anyone.
If the doctors here have a problem performing the procedure, I am more than understanding and am happy to take care of it when we get home. I take no issue with their stance. My frustration was that I couldn't explain myself to the doctor - she thought I was talking about something entirely different. And that language barrier, as I have acknowledged, is there because I don't speak German.
I labored for 26 hours and pushed for three with Linden before it was medically necessary for doctors to perform an emergency c-section. It was the most traumatic experience of my life. There were times when doctors feared for my life and Linden's life.
Most well-trained OBGYNs will, in this situation, recommend a second c-section because it's actually safer than forcing mother and baby to go through all of that again. And the odds of that are great.
They generally only recommend a VBAC if the first baby was breach or the baby or mother had other complications requiring a non-emergency c-section.
Also, most women would prefer to labor and deliver naturally - in fact, many feel defeated or cheated when they have to have a c-section.
I'm not Victoria Beckham. I'm not demanding a c-section for any other reason but safety.
Again, the problem was that I struggled to explain this to my doctor. Once we were on the same page, she recommended a planned c-section, just as my doctor at home did.
I brought a German friend with me to my next appointment and it was much smoother. What I really need to do is use Rosetta Stone and learn German!
It helps if you can bring a German-speaking girlfriend with you. That way you can ask your questions and get answers that make sense and put you at ease.
We're going to exhaust all of our options here, but I have a feeling we will have him circumcised at home, in April. I'd prefer to have someone comfortable with procedure doing it, you know?
Congratulations! You'll have to keep us posted on how it all goes over there ...
Never a dull moment, right?
Dear You. Write another damn blog post already! Miss you! Love, Me!
That guy is an ass. Or german. Not sure. :/
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